Chillin’

I haven’t posted in several days because I finally got to go home. But not before facing a major anxiety battle.

On Monday, I was supposed to leave for the airport about an hour after my last final. My “friend” who had promised a week earlier to take me, bailed about an hour and a half after we were supposed to leave. I had to get another friend of mine to try to make the hour and half drive to get me to the airport. I still ended up missing my flight. The whole ride to the airport, my mind was racing. I was on the edge of a panic attack the whole time. Thankfully, my friend who was driving me understood and without saying anything kept the vent open so that I could feel the air (which I need when I’m having an attack) and played music she knows I like instead of what she normally listens to in the car. She kept me sane.

I ended up spending the night in a hotel and then taking the first flight out Tuesday morning. I got home and have been more or less just chilling since. I didn’t sleep Monday so I’ve been sleeping on and off since. The worst part about dealing with all the stress and anxiety of missing the flight was the fact that I was just utterly exhausted afterward. And then not sleeping just made me more tired. I don’t think people understand just how exhausting it is to have an anxiety attack or to sit on the precipice of one for so long. It just takes everything out of you. So I’ve been just chilling since.

Last night I got a text from a friend of mine asking me to come over. I was a little preoccupied helping my mom with some stuff so I couldn’t but I asked her what was wrong. She didn’t know, but the second she started describing what was going on I knew it was a mild anxiety attack. She didn’t. I eventually just walked her through some of my usual go-to anxiety reliefs but it didn’t help until I flat out told her to calm down, it was just anxiety. While normally I would never tell someone who’s upset/ having an anxiety attack to just calm down, sometimes it’s what you need to do. Once someone knows it’s just an anxiety attack and nothing bad, they can often start to calm down, so it’s something to keep in mind.

At any rate, I just needed to write it out and share with some people. I’m going to potentially fall asleep, and if not, I’m probably going to get a snack. Mmm… food!

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