It’s possible I used this title before, but I can’t remember and don’t feel like looking, so here’s hoping that I didn’t!
Well, I’ve been to several doctors over the past couple months and the best they can come up with is that I may have a migraine disorder. But they really aren’t sure. This basically translates to me being dizzy most of the time and when it gets bad, hoping the people that I’m with understand and let me go lay down/sleep. In the process of trying to figure out what’s wrong with me, we discovered a couple things.
First, some foods have been triggering my dizziness a little. I can’t have tomato sauce (but I love pasta and marinera and I’m sad now), dairy (which I already knew, hello dairy allergy, my old friend), soy (but now what am I supposed to put on my cereal?), nuts (but I am part peanut butter, literally, I like live off the stuff), and some more stuff that I’m trying to figure out. As if being dairy free wasn’t hard enough, now there’s a bunch of other stuff I can’t have either because they make me incredibly dizzy. Did I mention red meat, wine, coffee, anything diet, and most anything processed or artificial (read: American) triggers migraines or migraine symptoms in people with the migraine syndrome they think I might have? So I eat plain bagels, drink regular coke, romaine lettuce, Gatorade, and juice. But only some kinds of juice because I also can’t have citrus. Thankfully, I do like coconut milk so that’s what I use. Ugh. But I have to do whatever I can to help.
Second, I have discovered that wearing foam earplugs helps as well. With the dizziness, I have hypersensitivity to light and sound. So now I’m the doofus wearing sun glasses inside, earplugs, and occasionally my noise cancelling headphones when it’s really bad. Thankfully some of my teachers understand, the others I just don’t tell that I’m wearing earplugs and hope the lights are too bright or flickering.
Third: my antianxiety medication wasn’t causing any of it. I had been on the same medication for a few years and then this summer my doctor tried to switch to something else in case the meds were affecting my dizziness. They weren’t. I told him that. He changed it anyway. It’s been a month and you know what? The anxiety has gotten worse because the new meds don’t help like the old ones. Problem is that I’m now a thousand miles away at school and he’s back home (literally, the office is like three blocks from my house). I called last week (exactly 1 month because when I told them after a week it wasn’t working, they told me I had to give it a month) and told them to change it, they said they’d call me back the next day. They never did. I called them this morning to check and they said my doctor wants me to go back to what I was taking. Exactly like I said. Hmm… it’s almost like I know my body and my anxiety. Ah well, they’ll figure it out sooner or later.
Fourth, I’m not nearly as chill as I thought I was. My roommate’s boyfriend slept over last night and I had told her that was fine, figuring he’d sleep on the couch, nothing would happen that shouldn’t, etc. Then I got home to find that her dog had pooped in our living room (made her clean it up, I may take care of the dog for her sometimes but he is not my dog). Then I got up this morning for class to find her boyfriend’s stuff all over the living room but him in her room. Which we had agreed he wouldn’t sleep in there because I do not want to lie to her parents when they ask if he stayed on the couch in our apartment. Oh, and our A/C isn’t working. And it’s 94 degrees outside. So I asked her to submit a maintenance request and stop in the office of our complex as soon as they open because I had to go to class. Guess who as of noon hadn’t done either of those things? Normally Id say whatever. But right now my anxiety is bad, I’m stressed with school, exhausted from dizziness, and, oh yeah, I’m dizzy. So my Wednesday isn’t going particularly well. The real icing on the cake though? Starbuck’s couldn’t take the app today so I didn’t get any stars for my mocha and croissant. That just made me sad because it’s a bonus double stars day. 😥
Ah well, time to buck up and get crap done. I still have physics lecture and aerobic walking today. Who wants to do aerobic walking in this heat? Crazy southerners. Ok, that’s all I’ve got for now. Hope your Wednesday is going better than mine. Chin up, my friend. It has to get better eventually.