Thoroughly Alone Thursday

“There’s time” “You’ll meet someone.” “You’re young.” “It just seems like everyone is meeting and starting to date and being in relationships.” “You’re imagining it.” “You aren’t forever alone.”

I hear these things all the time. Too often if I’m honest. It’s not that I’m lonely or desperate to have a boyfriend. I’m really not. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard when all of your friends want to talk about their boyfriends. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to eventually find a partner to share my life with. And what’s worse is that it tends to make the anxiety worse and kicks in a little depression. Again, it’s not that I’m desperate for a boyfriend. But when everyone else is pairing up and you’re friends are starting to get engaged and married, it makes you wonder if you’ll ever find someone.

I’ve thought about it a lot before. I could be single for the rest of my life and be okay with it. That doesn’t mean I want to be single and alone forever. I think it’d even be easier if I felt like my friends weren’t pushing me aside for their significant others. It’s even worse though, when you realize it’s not just that it feels like it, but that they actually are.

And I think that’s my problem right now. Not only do I not have, and never have had, a romantic relationship, I feel like I’m losing my friends on top of that. The girls who’ve been your best friends for years are replacing you with boyfriends and fiancĂ©s as their best friends. So where does that leave me? Oh yeah, replaced and yet still expected to be right there when something happens.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to be happy for your friend when she’s been replacing you with a boyfriend that’s been an asshole to you? It’s not fun.

So what do you do? ‘Cause I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll let you know if I do.

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One thought on “Thoroughly Alone Thursday

  1. The exact emotion I am going through and even if I keep reminding myself not to be an over emotional person I am still not able to shield myself and then there are lapses like tonight. Peace of Mind has become a myth. Tho hope you find it! Good Luck Lady!

    Like

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