Fumbling Friday

Loyalty. Friendship. Respect. Truth. Support.

These are all things I expect to find in a relationship whether it be friendship or romantic relationship.

But, like many of us, I also look for someone who knows when I’m acting, who knows when I need someone, who knows when I’m struggling.

I thought I had friends who did. I thought maybe I had found friends who would have my back. I thought I had found people to trust. But that’s the thing isn’t it? We can’t truly trust most of the people around us. No matter how hard we try, sometimes we still choose the wrong people. We trust someone only to be betrayed. So at what point do we learn to stop trusting others? At what point do we finally begin to learn how to trust ourselves and ourselves alone? Therapists can certainly help to work through your issues and keep yourself sane, but they can’t fix a heart broken by betrayal.

You’re the only one that has your own back. Working on a team is as close as you can get to trusting someone. When it comes to normal, everyday life, you have to trust yourself. No one else.

So this is my start. This is me learning to trust myself and guard my heart against any more hurt. In the future, I will eventually have to learn to trust other people. For now, I have to trust myself and myself alone.

So wherever you are on your journey of trust and healing, however your mind may affect your approach to relationships, stay strong. Learn to be okay on your own. Because until you are, you’ll never be okay with someone else.

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” -Robin Williams

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