Ok, so I have no idea what’s with the title. It just rhymes. I actually don’t really like most pie, I’m just hungry right now. Which is actually why my anxiety is a little higher right now. I can’t go to the kitchen without passing through the living room which is where my roommate that I cannot trust is loudly kissing and obnoxiously hanging out with her boyfriend who I think needs to leave. No one told me he was coming until… today. About two hours before he got here. So I’m a little irritated too. But back to my point, my anxiety is up because I’m hungry but not comfortable going to get food from my kitchen. How messed up is that?
Last week my roommate didn’t talk to me almost all week. I finally had enough and confronted her Sunday afternoon. It’s amazing what a stress headache and crying to your mom for an hour will do to give you the courage to get crap over with. Anyway, I confronted her, took responsibility for my part in what happened, and by the time I walked away, she had basically told me what was going on was my fault and she didn’t know why I was upset. So I walked away carefully, called my mom and cried for another hour. By the time I got home she was acting like nothing happened and everything was fine. So I ignored it and just let it happen, spoke when spoken to, polite, even relatively kind. But it’s been oddly tense and that has certainly made everything worse.
Last night I was looking for food in the kitchen and asked if my roommate would be home tonight when she let slip that she didn’t know, her boyfriend might be coming for the weekend. Which confused me as to how you wouldn’t know for sure… but anyway. She got home today and I made some comment about the trash in the kitchen needing to be taken out (literally, one water bottle was mine, it was all her trash) and she responded with he was coming and she would have him take it out. Great. Lovely, really. So I’ve been in my room since about an hour before he got here with headphones in, listening to NCIS, and now have a hockey game playing on my phone on the radio because it’s not on the TV, not that I have access to that if it was, they are sitting in the living room.
So how messed up is that? I can’t trust my roommate, can’t stand her boyfriend, and thus I’m practically stuck in my room. I don’t know why I have to sacrifice my sanity just for them to get to spend time together. Why do I have to be the one to sacrifice? But I’m not allowed to say anything. I’m also not really supposed to be in my room and “ignoring” them because it makes my roommate feel bad. And that’s what she kept telling me. But I don’t know what she expects me to do. She has continually not had my back for anything. I can’t trust her and things are awkward enough just us two. Bringing another person into our apartment that I cannot stand and who acts like a jerk to me most of the time? That isn’t kind. I don’t know what to do anymore.
However, I just heard them leave, so I’m going to take a chance and go get dinner from the kitchen. Stay strong my friends and enjoy some pie if you like it.